Congress decides no Townhall Meetings during break because there will be people there

After months of public anger towards Congress in Washington over the debt ceiling and lack of jobs, every single House and Senate member will refrain from holding any townhalls over their August recess. They all met on the Capital steps this morning to make their case. "It's pretty simple really" said Speaker of the House John Boehner, "we've all determined that instead of actually going to meet with the people in our district, we would instead answer pre-screened questions via Facebook in a secure location. But to make it more real for our constituents, we will have our full-size cardboard cut-outs in front of the microphone wherever we originally planned these townhalls to take place. Now, of course these cut-outs will cost $49.95 each but the money will go directly to our re-election campaign next fall."

Within just a few hours following this announcement, local tomato farmers saw an increase in demand of 15,000%. One farmer said it best during an interview with PBS Newshour, "at least they finally did something right for us."